Update on Oscar, hopes dashed

Our hopes that Oscar was turning the corner after his reaction to the medicine have been dashed.  The vet examined his foot this morning and was still very concerned about the paw staying cold.  Even though the pain has greatly decreased and he seems to have perked up and is even bearing some weight on that foot and the abscess seems to be draining he believes, and I agree, that the cold foot is a major concern and indicates a circulatory problem.

After consulting with a specialist O does not have a good prognosis. If circulation does not improve within the next few days it could turn to gangrene.  

At this point our goal is to get the circulation going in that foot.  Soaking and massaging the tissue to help drain it as well as keeping him on the antibiotics and as pain free and comfortable as possible.

It's hard to accept that his time with us may be coming to a close.  We're praying for physical healing for Oscar. 

The Bible tells us,  "Luke 12:6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God." 

I believe that the creator of the universe, who keeps track of the sparrow when it falls and counts the hair on my head cares for Oscar and understands our pain.  It is only with His strength that I can comfort my daughter who is grieving the possible loss of her furry friend.   I think a sudden and quick death would be preferable to caring for him for days, seeing what we think is improvement only to hit the valley of death again.  The uncertainty and wait is so stressful.

What we do and go through for our Fur-Baby, the long version

 About 6 weeks ago Oscar came in one evening completely lame in his right front foot.  I thought it was probably a mild sprain and treated him for several days with aspirin.   It didn't help.
 
 So a trip to the vets was in order.  After a very painful, for Oscar, exam the vet thought it was probably a sprain and put him on a better anti-inflammatory.  Which he took faithfully with no improvement. 

Fast forward 12 days...Taking Oscar back to the vets this afternoon. The pain meds that he has been on for over a week are not helping. He is not eating well and is really miserable. This is really hard on Sarah, these 2 have grown up together. We got him as a pup a few weeks before she turned 3. He'll be 13 on March 11. The past 5 years or so he has had allergies that turned into skin infections and now he has a lame leg that is not responding to treatment. I hope we can find out today what is wrong and get meds to keep him comfortable for as long as possible. We don't want to selfishly prolong his life if it is something bad, but it's so hard when an animal has been like another sibling. If you're inclined would you say a prayer for all of us?

That afternoon...Just got back from the vets with Oscar. Thanks for all your kind words and prayers.
Dr Foster took an x-ray and there is no cancer which is what we were afraid of. Instead he thinks that O has an abscess in that paw. So he's on antibiotics for 2 weeks at least plus his pain meds and he needs to have that foot soaked in Epsom salts twice a day. So it looks like Oscar will be with us for a while longer!!

Two days later...Oscar feels terrible, constant crying in pain.  It's worse at night.  I'm calling the vet to see if there is something he can take to help him relax and sleep especially at night.

That evening...The vet prescribed a mild sedative to help him sleep tonight.  It's an old, well tolerated drug.  Hope we can get some sleep tonight. 

Have you heard of Restless Leg Syndrome?  Last night we experienced what I'm calling "Uncontrolled Barking Syndrome" (UBS).  With his foot so painful, Oscar, and the rest of us, haven't been getting much sleep.  the video above is just a fraction of the barking he was doing.

Having a drug make you feel all disoriented and weird is bad enough.  And as a human you can at least communicate how you are feeling and understand what is happening.   Imagine your fur-baby going through that.  They. Can't. understand..

Anyway, "UBS" came on within an hour of Oscar taking the sedative.  Preceded by rapid, shallow breathing and the  loss of control of his tongue.

UBS lasted for 10-15 minutes at a time with only about a 10 minute respite.  At first we thought it was just him talking in his sleep.  But when it went on & on & on we knew something was amiss. The barking lasted from about 9 p.m. until midnight.  Finally, quiet, sleep.  For Oscar. Around 2:30 this morning he slid off the bed and is still sleeping where he landed  8 hours later.  (I snatched a couple of hours here and there.)

After talking with his vet, who is befuddled by this entire problem, not just the drug reaction, I'm taking him back in tomorrow for further evaluation.

As I finish writing this post Oscar is still very groggy and unsteady on his feet.  24 hours after that one. small. dose.

Some friends have suggested I find another vet.  I understand and appreciate their concern.  I want the best for Oscar.  But I've had drug reactions myself.  It wasn't the doctors fault.  You don't know you're allergic to something until you take it and react.  So I view it the same for my canine child.

His foot is finally draining, he's let Sarah soak and massage the gunk out of his foot twice today.  The pain in the foot is much, much better.  I think he's on the mend.

We'll visit the vet again in the morning to let the doc and his colleagues check him out as we head to the weekend.

I leave you with a few recent pics of our "Monster Dog"

He chooses to sleep this way...

and sit like this...

He's the best dog I've ever known.

Daniel the aspiring backsmith

Guest post by David Gibson

Here are pictures of my son Daniel's first blacksmithing project; a machete.  He's always been into knives and has wanted to make one. Now, he's actually doing it.

We will start with a picture of the Furnace, a B & O Railroad #29 Union Caboose Stove from his maternal Grand Father, that we fire by hard wood charcoal and Hickory logs from a neighbor's fallen hickory tree (no blower...yet!).

Then we have a Peter Wight 100 lb. anvil and our "willing donor," a bent lawn mower blade from his Paternal Grand Father's Sears Craftsman Riding Mower.  

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the current table is 30' away from the Furnace, but under the edge of the carport. (We are building a new 4' long table from 2" X 6" lumber from our old picnic table to hold the anvil, a Wilton Vise, a Quench Bucket, and his tools.  It will be kept about a foot from the Furnace.  We are also looking for a coal hod in which to keep charcoal and small pieces of wood and a small blower to the accelerate the heating process to the point where the metal is ready to be shaped.)

Here's a picture of the Forge heating very well, in the middle of a rain. 

 

 

 

 

Here he is shaping the handle (Yes, it's raining steadily while he is doing this.)

 

 

While we don't have any pictures of him shaping the blade, here is a picture of where he ended up.  He still needs to grind the blade, sharpen it, and make a handle and then quench the blade (after sharpening, so it will hold the edge and, yes, he's taller than me at 6' 3" and just 17 years old).

(His shirt is a nod to his love of "Dr. Who" and reads 'Bow ties are cool')

Group from Korea singing the Gaithers Alpha and Omega

Thankful that "There are no orphans of God"

Orphans Of God Lyrics

Who here among us has not been broken?
Who here among us is without guilt or pain?
So oft' abandoned by our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but Hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Come ye unwanted and find affection
Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy, you are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but Hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

O blessed Father, look down upon us
We are Your children, we need Your love
We run before Your throne of mercy
And seek Your face to rise above

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but Hallelujah
There are no orphans

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but Hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Apology

I want to apologize for an inappropriate post.  While the concept is true the words used in the video are not words I choose to use myself.

Please forgive my thoughtless actions and know that I do not approve of that type of language and do not use it myself.

One Thousand Gifts

Ch 6

"Every time you feel in God's creatures something pleasing and attractive, do not let your attention be arrested by them alone, but  passing them by transfer your thoughts to God and say:  'O my God, if They creations are so full of beauty, delight and joy, how infinitely more full of beauty, delight and joy art Thou Thyself, Creator of all!'     Nicodemus of Holy Mountain

I have to seek God beauty.  Because isn't my internal circuity wired to seek out something worthy of worship?  Every moment I live, I live bowed to something.  And is I don't see God, I'll bow down before something else. 

 

Ann VosKamp

Migraine Rant

My mom tries to tell me when she hears of something new for migraines. I really do appreciate it. Today she called to tell me about a product called "Migralex". It's a combo of aspirin 500mg and Magnesium Oxide 75 mg. Nothing special, no new ingredients. Guess how much it costs for 1 bottle of 20 caplets? $39.95 plus 6.95 for shipping and handling.

Un. Be. Lieve. A. Ble.

Snake Oil.

Unfortunately people will pay this ridiculous price because they are desperate for migraine relief. I am desperate for relief but I am NOT STUPID.

I may try the combo on my own. I have aspirin on hand, just need to pick up a bottle of mag ox. It would be great if it works. But if it works I still won't pay this ridiculous price.

And this is the problem with a disease like Migraine.

There. Is. No. Cure. YET!

There are no guarantees that this treatment or that treatment will work for any patient.

I was supposed to be getting the Botox injections in September. I won't be getting them at all because, 1. I have no assurance that they will work for even a little while. and 2. Even with the insurance and our deductible paid and we've almost hit the maximum that we have to pay out of pocket for the year, I still was going to have to pay over $1,000 for 1 round of injections. For medical reasons, not cosmetic.

Scream!!!

Time to catch up?

It's been a while since I posted.  Life has gone on.  We've had a very wet, cooler than usual summer so far.  This has caused our yard to become a jungle.  Even though Daniel kept up well with the mowing, the vines and weeds grew out of control. 

Sarah and Daniel have been cutting and hauling brush out to the road a bit at a time.  We can't put out too much or the city will charge us to pick it up, so slow and steady it goes.

I've been trying to sell homeschool curriculum and other books that we are finished with.  That has been slow going.  Finding what we need for the next term hasn't been too easy either.  I don't know why, maybe as they get older there are less used copies available. 

I'm trying to start the planning out, I don't want them to have to do things that are just mindless repetition, but neither do I want to skip over truly important information.

It is truly a balancing act.

Oscar is slowing down.  He moans more in his sleep and has become more talkative in his old age.  He limps more even though he is taking his aspirin regularly.

But last night topped it all.

The kids asked David and me to come out to see how much they had trimmed  from the "jungle".  I know there are divots and other various irregularities in our backyard.  I even know where they are and was telling myself to watch for them.

Unfortunately my eye did not see it but my foot found it with no problem and I was on the ground. 

Long story short, I broke my right leg, at the ankle.  It's the tip of the small bone in the leg.  Nothing bad, but it is surprisingly painful and being on crutches is awkward.

The Vicodin they gave me for pain knocks the edge off but makes me grumpy.  It's going to be an interesting few weeks.  I hope when I get my permanent cast, it can be a walking cast or boot.  I'm afraid I'll fall using the crutches and do more damage.

So, Life goes on...

How to drive the Dog, aka Oscar, aka Monsterdog, Crazy

1. Take dog outside to check the mail.
2. Have daughter join you bringing dogs FAVORITE toy.
3. Daughter throws toy for dog.
4. Toy lands on roof of house.
5. Dog searches
6. Dog searches
7. Mom points up
8. Dog looks up
9. Daughter decides that throwing a hula hoop onto roof is a good way to drag the toy down.
10. Daughter throws hula hoop onto roof after third try.
11. Hula hoop lands too far back to be reached by daughter.
12. Mom suggests moving car closer and having daughter stand on hood of car to reach hula hoop
13. Decide to NOT try #12.
14. Get hoe to reach hula hoop.
15. Push hoe too far up and out of reach.
16. Call son to come help
17. Son can reach handle of hoe but misses on first try.
18. Son tries again and successfully reached hula hoop which is surrounding toy and flings all to the ground.
19. Mom says to son, Dog lost a ball under your car too, will you get that with the hoe?
20. Son says no it's too muddy there.
21. Daughter plays tug-of-war with dog and rescued toy.
22. Mom takes pictures.
23. Mom blogs,

                                                                       THE END

 

 

 

 

Update on Migraine from Davids perspective

As many of you know, my wife, Susan has suffered Migraine Headaches for about 25 years (for many years, I've often joked that if any of "you" were married - 24 years, to me you'd also have migraines!).  The only time Susan has had any relief was when she was either pregnant or nursing the children (a hormone, relaxin, that allows women's joints to "loosen" for easier labor and child birth is probably the reason she remained headache free during this period).  Two years after Sarah finished nursing, the headaches returned. 

In our long quest to find a cure (and we've tried many, many different Doctors and treatments), it looks like we found a Doctor (actually a dentist) that knows how to perform a "root cause analysis" on Susan's Migraine Headaches.  He asked Susan to bite down 4 times and sustain the bite on the 4th time on oral device that was hooked up to a computer.  The results were plain to even a simpleton like me:  On a bar chart that represented the pressure of the individual teeth, the back teeth (especially on the left side) were at a pressure reading that was 4X the standard deviation of the pressure range.  Like closing a hard backed book, with a pencil near the inside of the spine, would  distort and tear open the Spine of that book, her rear teeth are working as a wedge (actually, a fulcrum) and distorting the mandible joint (the joint at your jaw and skull). 

The pain she is having is "referred pain" from "hot" muscles (actually irritated much past the point of spasms, to where Susan screamed when the Dentist touched her muscles that close the jaw on the inside right of her mouth).   Looking back on historic events, Susan's migraine headaches started in February of 1988, as she was having Orthodonic work (her Orthodontist had originally suggested that she have her lower jaw broken, to correct a recessive jaw line.  She declined his suggestion.)  When her smile was 95% corrected she had her braces removed, a few months before we were married.

We are going through with this treatment, as we probably spent at least the same amount last year on Doctor's visits (to migraine headache centers in Greensboro and Winston-Salem), Emergency Room visits (2 in one weekend due to a drug interaction that caused Susan to have a runaway Blood Pressure event (226/150 when we got to the Emergency Room about an hour later at 5:45 AM Saturday!), and many different pain relief drugs that leave Susan in what could be best described as a "stupor."  We think this very well could be a LIFE ALTERING event.  The first treatment is scheduled for Memorial Day weekend and will go on for a period of 12 weeks.  Treatments will include:

1. Dental work to reduce the contact between teeth (Bite Adjustment) at the rear of her mouth, to lessen pressure on the rear teeth and evenly distribute bite pressure (includes a panoramic X-Ray)
   
2. A dental appliance to prevent her from grinding her teeth while sleeping
   
3. TENS unit therapy to calm the muscles that are "hot" to end the referred pain and headaches and
4. Alpha-STIM Delivery Therapy as well as physical therapy to retrain her muscles
   

So we are hopeful that by the end of the summer, she (we) will have a new more active life (that will help some of the secondary health issues that come with a sedintary lifestyle, since she can rarely participate due to the pain).  We will keep you informed.

Migraine Update

Last Thursday I saw a dentist who specializes in treating patients like me.  Patients who have Migraine that are caused by things going on in the jaws and mouth.

I am a good candidate for his treatment because there is significant evidence that I grind my teeth and clench during sleep.  I also have a lot of jaw popping and sometimes difficulty in opening my mouth. 

It makes sense that my jaw not working properly would lead to muscle problems that in turn become pain.

I will start a 12 week course of therapy the last week of May that will include a device for my mouth, physical therapy among other things.

This is not a treatment that is isolated to the Charlotte area.  I searched for 'teeth grinding and migraine' and got a lot of hits.  You can also search for 'dentists migraine' and get a lot of results.

The treatment is expensive and the dentist treating me does not accept any insurance.  So we have to come up with the money on the front end.  But the office does the insurance filing for me and I'll get reimbursed directly.

Here is the link to the dentist I am seeing.http://charlotteheadachecenter.com/

I still have a way to go, but David and I believe that this could be a big answer o my chronic migraines. 

I'll keep you posted.

Why so many Migraines and no healing???

This current migraine cycle is now approaching 7, (SEVEN) weeks, not days, weeks. 
                                           That is 42 days....

Why am I keeping track?  Well for one thing the doctor needs to know.  But I'm not sure why else. 

I'm really trying to keep a positive attitude, for the most part.  Yesterday I had a bit of a pity party.  I was feeling that nobody in my extended family really cares about me and my struggles with migraine disease.  That I'm trying to do the right thing and avoid my triggers, the many foods, products, odors that can trigger a migraine, so why aren't I getting better?  Oh poor me......

Actually I think the pity party was on Thursday night,  anyway, I told David about it and talking to him made me realize how foolish and even selfish my pity party for me was. 

Then yesterday Daniel was reading his assigned book for school and came to me and said, "Have you read this book?"  I told him I had but it had been a while.  He told me that I needed to read the chapter he had just finished.

The book is, It's NOT About Me, by Max Lucado

Chapter 12  My Struggles Are About Him

Have you heard about Martin and Gracia Burnham?  They were the missionaries that were taken hostage by terrorists associated with bin Laden.  Martin was killed by crossfire when Philippine Rangers attacked the terrorist camp.

Why did Martin have to die? Did God mess up?  Was He mad?  Can't the Maker of heaven and earth handle bad traffic and prevent bad marriages?  Of course He can.  Then why doesn't He? 

Why did He let my great-nephew Axel be born with a birth defect so severe he didn't make it to his 2nd birthday?  Why did He allow my sister to be afflicted with both migraine disease and bi-polar disorder?  Why is He allowing my neighbor, "Aunt Bert" to be dying of cancer as I write?  Why God, Why?

Have we so exhausted the mercy of God's bank account that every prayer bounces like a bad check?  Did humanity cross the line years ago, and now we're getting what we deserve?  Such an argument carries a dash of merit.  Lucado continues.  God does leave us to the consequences of our stupid decisions.  Think Egyptian soldiers in the Read Sea.  Hebrews in Babylon.  Peter weeping with the sound of a crowing rooster in his ears.  Bang your head against a wall and expect a headache.  God lets us endure the fruit of sin.  But to label Him peeved and impatient?  To do so you need to scissor from your Bible some tender passages such as:

 God is sheer mercy and grace;
    not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
    nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
    nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
    so strong is his love to those who fear him.
(Psalm 103:8-11 MSG)

Don't blame suffering in the world on the anger of God.  Follow your troubles to their headwaters and you won't find an angry or befuddled God.  You will find a sovereign God.

Your (My) pain has a purpose.  Your (My) problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end-the glory of God............

Remember the blind man?  The disciples asked Jesus who had sinned and caused the mans blindness.  Was it the mans parents or the man himself.  Wrong, Jesus replied.  Don't search for who sinned.  Blame this blindness on a call from God. 
                                  Why was the man sightless?  So "the works of God might be displayed in him."

Odds are he (and I) would have preferred another role in the human drama.  This assignment held little glamour.

Mary, be a mother to my son.
Peter, you'll be my first preacher.
Matthew, the first gospel?  It's all yours.
Then God turns to me, "And Susan, you?"
Yes, Lord?
You will suffer migraines for my glory.
I'll have migraines?
Yes, constant, unrelenting migraines.
For your Glory?
Yes. 
But I don't understand.
I know.  You don't need to understand right now.

And I need to learn to say, "Alright Lord.  Whatever Your will, I accept it."

But it's hard, so hard.

One Thousand Gifts

Ch 5

"One act of thanksgiving,

when things go wrong with us,

is worth a thousand thanks when things

are agreeable to our inclinations."

St. John of Avila

...the dare to write 1,000 gifts becomes the dare to create innumerable, endless gifts!  That initial discipline, the daily game to count, keeping counting to 1,000, it was God's necessary tool to reshape me, remake me, rename me, and now how could I stop being "Ann, full of grace"?

      Or was this now only the beginning of really becoming?

Is this going to happen to me?  I want to be remade in those areas where I know I fail my husband, my family, my Father...  I say that but am I willing to go through the hard stuff to get there?  I hope so...

Daily discipline is the door to full freedom, and the discipline to count the 1,000 gave way to the freedom of wonder and I can't imagine not staying awake to God in the moment, the joy in the now.

      But awakening to joy awakens to pain...

Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living.

If I am numbering gift moments to 1,000 and now beyond- what moments in my life count as blessings?  If I name this moment as gift, grace, what is the next moment?  Curse?  How do you know how to sift through a day, a life, and rightly read the graces, rightly ascertain the curses? 

     What is good?  What counts as grace?  What is the heart of God?

Do I believe in a God who rouses Himself just now and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity? 

            ...-and, then finds Himself again too important to deal with all I see as suffering and evil?  A God of sporadic, random, splattering goodness- that now and then splatters across a gratitude journal?

Somebody tell me:

                 What are all the other moments?

Isaiah 14:24  "Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, and just as I have planned so it will stand"

Amos 3:6  "Does disaster come to a city unless the Lord has planned it?"

A good God plans everything.  Everything.  So a good God can only...make plans for good?  He only gives good gifts?  A thing of evil cannot be created by a good God?

This is such a hard truth.  But if I believe that God is all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere all the time, then I believe that He knows all about the things I find "bad", the evil in this world.  And there is EVIL.

But, I don't see the big picture.  I have no clue what His ultimate plan is, except that in the end God triumphs, NO, Wait He HAS triumphed, but this world must play out the plan. 

My mind cannot comprehend God.  There is no way I can grasp His plan for me, fur this world.  But as sure as I know that someone invented, created, made, sold the paper in my journal.  Something so simple has a creator...how can there not be a creator of this drop of water?  How can there not be a creator of the oxygen molecules? 

So, if I know the paper has a creator, and a plan for how it is used, doesn't the creator of the universe have a plan?  Do I need to understand it?  Does my 2 year old need to understand why she can't go out to the mailbox by herself?  NO! She just needs to obey.  And even though I don't understand the why, I need to obey.  And I am commanded to give thanks in EVERYTHING. 

 1 Thessalonians 5:18  Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God's will in Christ Jesus that you do this. 

"Evil is all that lacks the goodness of God, a willful choice to turn away from the full goodness of God to that empty of His grace."  Augustine

All God makes is good.  Can it be that that which seems to oppose the will of God actually is used of Him to accomplish the will of God?  That which seems evil only seems so because of the perspective: the way the eyes see the shadows.  Above the clouds, light never stops shining.

"See that I am God.  See that I am in everything.  See that I do everything.  See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally.  See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began by the same poser, wisdom and love with which I made it.  How can anything be amiss?"  Julian of Norwich

Perspective--How. We. See.

To be continued...

Ann Voskamp